You see I have accomplished many things in my life. I like to see things grow. In reality I am in the growing part right now but I feel like nothing is really happening around me.
Two years ago I had a beautiful little girl. I get to see her grow every day. But some days I just don’t feel the satisfaction that I should from getting to be her Mom.
I started my doctoral study almost 5 years ago. I am finished with my classes but waiting on permission to continue with my dissertation.
We are adding an addition to our house but a project that was suppose to take two weeks may be up to two month. Waiting to continue the project and enjoy the results is not exciting.
My husband and I want to extend our family but are waiting on the timing of God to begin the process again. The thought of knowing that that is something that I can not control is difficult.
The cold weather outside is making it difficult to enjoy one of my favorite things, the outside. I can not wait to enjoy it again.
I am adding more revenue back into my 50 Things to Know Books business. While it is fun to see the business grow, it is stressful to put money back in when there may not be a profit.
I am now getting into a new stage in my life. I am no longer a new mother. I have not had a full time job in over two years now.
A good friend will be bringing home a new baby soon. Changes will be happening soon there.
My family and I went on an amazing dream vacation on a cruise in January but this means we won’t be on a vacation for a while.
I have been trying to love the baby weight after the miscarriage of baby #2. Mostly weight gained from being nauseous. But even this process is to slow to follow.
If you can see what I am saying is, I don’t have a big goal right now that I am trying to achieve. In the past I have completed many degrees, been to many beautiful places, started many books, birthed a beautiful child, and been there for others.
Being restless is “unable to rest or relax as a result of anxiety or boredom”. That is how I feel right now. But I need to remember that this is God preparing me for the future. I am not at a high or low right now. I really am doing amazing things right now but it is hard when you don’t see the outcome. But the things I am doing now is preparing me for the months ahead. Maybe I’ll be a doctor soon. Or a Mom of 2. Possibly have a full time Job. Have a bigger house. Get to help others raise their children. Have a business that helps others in a larger scale. Be privileged enough to travel the world or even be warm enough to get out of the house.
But for right now, I am inside being the best Mom and Wife I can be while enjoying growing my little company, enjoying friendship and fellowship, and dreaming of the future.
“Forget the former things, and do not dwell on the past.
LOOK! I am creating a brand new thing! It is springing up right in front of you. Do you not perceive it?” Isaiah 43:18-19
God is always doing new things. We just aren’t watching.